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SWM Male seeks….dating in New Bedford


I felt as if Facebook was trying to tell me something.

Staring back at me from my laptop was a bright dimpled smile and a pair of pale blue eyes enveloped by blonde hair.

“Singles are waiting for you in the New Bedford area!” the post screamed.

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Yes – I was date-shamed on Facebook.

But, it got me thinking about the quest for romance in our fair city just before this Valentine’s Day. More specifically, it got me wondering about how that quest is pursued in these parts in a hyper-digital age.

So, I reached out to fellow Groundworkers and asked, “What are the best dating sites/apps” you use? Or, if your prefer an analog love life, “what’s the best place to meet people?”

Tinder fires Shelley up

SouthCoast E for All executive director Shelley Cardoos replied, “I personally like Tinder the best. I like that both people are “swiping” both left and right so you’re only messaging or getting messages from those you want to talk to…

OkCupid used to be good but has really gone down-hill. I don’t like how anyone can message you on there. I could show you some messages I’ve received and you’d quickly know why!

I have met some guys I’ve clicked with and have gone on dates with before at AHA! New Bedford (the 3rd Eye block party), Club XS on reggae night, at a TedX Salon…. but overall, I use Tinder. I prefer to keep my dating life private and separate from my work and social scene. Some dates have been great. Others have made for good stories.

However, for people that aren’t as involved, there are a lot of great interactive events to meet people at…. like EforAll, drawing socials, soapbox socials, bookfests…(shameless plugs intended!)

Sarah crosses the digital divide

Groundwork! Co-founder Sarah Athanas provided these thoughts:

I’ve used both OkCupid and Hinge to find dates, and I’ve met some quality people on both. I’m even still friends with a couple of them.

But my big gripe with online dating is that it feels so transactional, like I’m shopping for a mate. I can’t help but feel guilty for subjecting all those profiles to my brutal judgement. So I gave up the online gig over a year ago and I’m back to the real world.

Thanks to the social nature of my job I’m never lacking for things to do and people to hang out with, so I prefer to enjoy moments and friendships and let things evolve as they may. One tip for the younger women out there: learn to climb and hang out at Carabiners. That place gives me faith in the future of men on the South Coast!

Looking for Hedda Lettuce or Peter Pickle

For a strictly real-world experience, a person who requested anonymity suggested that the best place to find a date was at the supermarket – specifically in the produce aisle. Which may account for all the salad in the Groundwork! refrigerator. I hope he/she never finds a date; we’ll all eat healthier at future potlucks.

Love is in the air at Groundwork!

One thing I realized putting this blog post together is this: Most Groundworkers are already in happy relationships! Hmm…maybe there’s something about co-working that prepares you for the give and take of a healthy relationship. Or, maybe having this beautiful workspace to retreat to actually promotes the maintenance of healthy relationships! Though we do have a few couples who actually work here together. I think the place is just full of love.

Unlike my profile – which was never created. As much as I appreciated the Facebook nudge as an inspiration for this column, I am much too shy to be a SWM seeking…

But who knows? Maybe I’ll pick up some Hearts of Romaine on Valentine’s Day.

Steven Froias